The Anthropomorphization of Stupidity

13 01 2010

Hey, Pat Robertson! Shut up, you cock!

“Mr. Madison, Robertson, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”

Why is this douchebag still permitted to pollute the airwaves with his drivel? Why is this allegedly-religious pinhead not behind bars for his terroristic threats against the US government and foreign leaders?

For those of you living in an isolation chamber, Haiti was hit by a massive earthquake yesterday. Early reports have around one hundred thousand people dead. US military personnel are already either on the ground or on the way- along with hundreds of relief groups, rescue teams, charitable organizations, and individuals from around the world.

Rather than acting quickly to provide aid by calling upon his legions of deluded followers to donate time, money, or services to the relief and rescue efforts, this eccentric and evil Yoda look-alike has decided that his god smote the Haitians because they allegedly made a deal with the devil. In 1791.

Apparently, Robertson’s imaginary friend takes a really long time to get around to punishing those he dislikes. Anything living in Dover, Connecticut a few hundred years from now had better watch out.

I say imaginary friend because Pat Robertson is living proof of the non-existence of a just and loving god. This alleged human is the antithesis of the christian ideals he supposedly believes. No one acting the way this shithead acts could possibly claim to be a religious leader, could they? With a straight face?

God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent—it says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks, please. Cash and in small bills.

You’re probably sick to death of quotes from Robert Heinlein, but this one is directly on point. Pat Robertson seems to believe that he can get away with actions which are squarely against the tenets of his supposed religion and no one will notice. Perhaps he’s merely stupid, or senile from drinking his miraculous energy drinks. It’s more likely that he’s simply batshit insane. What else would you call someone who hears voices no one else can hear?

Current status: Filled with loathing

Current music: Name Your Poison by Richard O’Brien


Squat on thy haunches and bray out the tale …

10 11 2009

Hoo boy! The mental midgets are hell-bent on displaying their idiocy for all to see. Why do we tolerate these parasites?

Last Thursday, a US Army psychologist decided that he was going to play one-man jihad at Fort Hood. This man was a US citizen, born of Jordanian immigrants, who happened to be a practicing muslim. Early reports indicate that his religion was part of what made him kill a dozen people and wound dozens more.

Well, the professional whackjob class in this country has been trying to use this man’s savagery to justify their own xenophobia and parochialism. That expert in all things, Pat Robertson, opined that Islam was not a religion but a political movement, and it would therefore be acceptable to discriminate against and persecute people based on that fact.

I’ll allow that to sink in for a moment.

In other words, a well-known and influential cleric has called for persecution of a large group of people because they do not believe as he does. Had he been wearing robes and speaking in a mosque, this man would be the focus of intense scrutiny from US intelligence agencies. Since he was wearing a suit and speaking in a megachurch, nothing will happen to him. Am I the only person who sees that as unjust?

Worse still, this pompous ass-hat is also of the opinion that persecution of and discrimination against people with different political views is a good thing. Perhaps Mr. Pat “I look like Yoda” Robertson hasn’t thought his cunning plan all the way through. If it is generally okay for people to persecute and discriminate against people with different religious and political views, he is going to be on the receiving end of a lot of that. I’m pretty sure even Regent University teaches basic math. Perhaps Robertson could get one of his graduate students to stop praying long enough to fill him in on the demographic results of the last general election. Robertson and his xenophobic right wing brethren are not in the majority in this country. Mr. Robertson, you really do not want to open that particular can of worms.

Let us take a look at some other basic facts, shall we? Most muslims living in the US are a fairly liberal bunch. The only real difference between an American who is muslim and one that is not is faith, which is a private matter. There are millions of muslims in this country who are doing nothing more or less than living the American Dream, and have no plans for anything more than that (except perhaps completing the Haj). There is no reason to treat them as anything other than fellow citizens … unless you’re a right-wing bible-thumper with a TV show and a bad hairpiece.

Many Americans deal with muslims every day in this country. You can find them where you work, in schools (except Regent University, obviously), and where you shop. They are just people– no more, no less. Singling them out for their religious beliefs is not merely wrong- it’s stupid. Who else will Mr. Robertson and his cadre of christian fuckwits single out for persecution? Red-heads? Lefties? Touch-typists? Unibrows? People who use Macs?

I have a better idea: let us all join forces to persecute and discriminate against Pat Robertson and all of his followers for their religious and political beliefs. After all, they’re in the minority. No violence- just refuse to do business with them. “Sorry, Mr. Robertson. I cannot take care of your lawn because you are a stupid, racist windbag.”

This past weekend, I came across a nice Persian family while shopping at Sam’s Club. They were jabbering away at each other in Farsi (which I recognize but cannot speak), and the mother was wearing a hijab. The two kids were acting like kids, and I walked past them while the little boy was standing up in the shopping cart going, vrooom! vrooom! As I passed, I grinned widely at his father, to express my amusement at his son’s antics. I had no idea whether or not he spoke English (I assume he did, but don’t know), but we shared a brief communication despite the lack of words: I was amused by the boy’s vrooming, and he was pleased and proud of his kid (judging by the smile and head shake I got in return). Just two people getting a kick out of a little boy playing racecar from inside a shopping cart.

Despite the fact that I do not speak Farsi, and my religious beliefs are essentially non-existent, I would far rather have this unknown man and his family as fellow Americans than a jackass like Pat Robertson.

Current status: Pining for the fjords

Current music: Point of Know Return by Kansas