Verbal Evisceration

13 10 2009

This is one of my favorite pastimes. In my job, I am regularly in contact with self-important buffoons who believe their “exalted” status makes them immune to the laws of physics and/or common courtesy. I delight in verbally demolishing these popinjays to their faces, shredding their self-importance and snobbery with only facts and logic. I never use foul language, and I always preface my attacks with the appropriate honorifics. For a far better example of how to accomplish this, please read Cyrano de Bergerac.

Even better are those times when the object of torture commits his or her nonsense to paper or email. In these circumstances, I can take the proper time to slowly and clinically cut the offender off at the knees. In the latest of these situations (this morning), one of my supervisors (who received a copy of my reply) took the time to call me on the phone and express his delight at the way I handled the matter.

I can therefore appreciate those who have far more skill in this endeavor than I. Case in point (pun intended): the verbal and legal smackdown¬† laid upon “birther” maven Orly Taitz (yes, that is her real name). This combination attorney, dentist, and interior-decorator (you just wish I was joking) has been filing frivolous lawsuits in Federal court in a ludicrous attempt to force the President to produce his birth certificate- presumably in her spare time from being Carol Channing’s stunt double (OK- that was a joke. Sort of. Check out her picture).

I’ll not dignify her delusions with evidence to the contrary. That has been done by others so often and so thoroughly that it need not be repeated here. Suffice to say that the Courts have been tossing out her ridiculous claims with mind-numbing regularity.

After the most recent mauling in the middle district in Georgia, she was informed by the Court that her actions constituted frivolous filings, and she was ordered to show cause why the Court should not sanction her to the tune of $10,000. Just to show you how far off into moon-bat land she is, Ms Taitz immediately filed another frivolous motion- this time demanding that the judge recuse himself.

The Court took the time to thoroughly and humiliatingly detail every aspect of this wingnut’s nonsense in a 43-page smackdown, ending up with fining her $20,000 for essentially being stupid in court. Please take the time to read the court’s order. I am impressed. Note that the Court made sure to completely itemize the sanctionable actions of this wombat to make sure any Apellate Court jurist has a clear picture of just what sort of whackjob they’re dealing with.

By the way, the Court also ruled on this sanction sua sponte (on its own- without being asked to do so by opposing counsel). Lawyers do get sanctioned, but generally not without a request by their opposite number in a case. This judge took the very rare step of imposing sanctions without any such request.

Stuff like this gives me hope. I feel a lot less alone when I face down the hordes of mindless drones who infest my working days after reading this legal pimp-slap.

Current status: Impressed

Current music: Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked by Cage the Elephant








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