The Anthropomorphization of Stupidity

13 01 2010

Hey, Pat Robertson! Shut up, you cock!

“Mr. Madison, Robertson, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”

Why is this douchebag still permitted to pollute the airwaves with his drivel? Why is this allegedly-religious pinhead not behind bars for his terroristic threats against the US government and foreign leaders?

For those of you living in an isolation chamber, Haiti was hit by a massive earthquake yesterday. Early reports have around one hundred thousand people dead. US military personnel are already either on the ground or on the way- along with hundreds of relief groups, rescue teams, charitable organizations, and individuals from around the world.

Rather than acting quickly to provide aid by calling upon his legions of deluded followers to donate time, money, or services to the relief and rescue efforts, this eccentric and evil Yoda look-alike has decided that his god smote the Haitians because they allegedly made a deal with the devil. In 1791.

Apparently, Robertson’s imaginary friend takes a really long time to get around to punishing those he dislikes. Anything living in Dover, Connecticut a few hundred years from now had better watch out.

I say imaginary friend because Pat Robertson is living proof of the non-existence of a just and loving god. This alleged human is the antithesis of the christian ideals he supposedly believes. No one acting the way this shithead acts could possibly claim to be a religious leader, could they? With a straight face?

God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent—it says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks, please. Cash and in small bills.

You’re probably sick to death of quotes from Robert Heinlein, but this one is directly on point. Pat Robertson seems to believe that he can get away with actions which are squarely against the tenets of his supposed religion and no one will notice. Perhaps he’s merely stupid, or senile from drinking his miraculous energy drinks. It’s more likely that he’s simply batshit insane. What else would you call someone who hears voices no one else can hear?

Current status: Filled with loathing

Current music: Name Your Poison by Richard O’Brien



2 responses

17 01 2010
6 03 2010

I’m never sick of quotes from Robert Heinlein – I only regret that there are no new ones!

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