Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?

20 11 2006

Can someone PLEASE tell me why the antics of so-called “celebrities deserves more air time than, say, Darfur, the secessionist movements in Georgia (the ex-Soviet one, for those of you who haven’t mastered the rudiments of geography), the political race for the Presidency of Venezuela, the resurgence of the Taliban in the “Tribal Areas” of Afghanistan, or any of several thousand other actual news stories- right down to how long it takes different varieties of paint to dry?

Believe it or not, there are simply SCADS of real news stories out there. Anywhere. Spin a globe and stop it at random with your finger, and right under your finger there will be a real news story which will have approximately one hundred gazillion times more impact on YOUR life than the nonsensical cavortings of the media-crowned “stars”.

With all of the ACTUAL news- important stuff that will have tangible effects on your life- going on all over the planet, what was the primary topic on the so-called “news” programs all weekend? A couple of over-hyped entertainment dweebs got hitched. Not “page twenty” or “entertainment section” news, either. This alleged “story” was the lead news item on every misbegotten channel and the front page headline on every unspeakable dead-tree newspaper.

In a rational world, no one would pay these attention-whores the slightest bit of notice away from the confines of a movie theater. In a world governed by intellect and reason, these self-aggrandizing intellectual and moral vacuums would merely be good for the occasional laugh when their off-screen antics finally elicit a police response. Given the wholesale pandering to these worthless parasites by the “mainstream media” over the past few months, however, any moron of average intelligence would be forced to conclude that Earth was devoid of any intelligent life.

Have you ever heard the word, “iota”? I believe it is a Greek word, and its general use is to indicate something extremely small- like an atom (another Greek word which means “indivisible” or “unbreakable”). If you took one ten billionth of one percent of an iota, it would STILL be several orders of magnitude greater than my interest in anything from Hollywierd.

So why am I being force-fed this swill masquerading as news? Why is there no escape from the endless stories about this or that “celebrity” and what he/she/it/they are doing to/for/about whatever? Why are mainstream media news outlets dominated by empty heads behind cheery smiles and vacant, soulless eyes? Why can’t these so-called “journalists” manage the simple tasks of spelling or pronouninge the English language correctly? Their whole reason for existence is to work with words, and they can’t even spell properly. I defy you to find any “news anchor” who has the vaguest idea of how to properly use an apostrophe.

My wife, bless her, opines that these “news anchors” are actually robots created for this purpose by the Sony Corporation with faulty translator chips. Tempting as the idea is, I am forced to disagree. I simply cannot believe that Sony is capable of the sort of sheer incompetence displayed by these creatures every night. And make no mistake, it is merely incompetence. There is no sinister agenda at work, no Macchiavellian plots. Just simple stupidity. And it’s being pumped into your brain by the TV.

As bad as the situation is, there is still hope. You, as a consumer of the tripe dished out each night on the television “news”, have the power to make changes. It’s very simple, and doesn’t even require that you leave the comfortable confines of your easy chair. Pick up your remote. There’s a button on it that says, “Off”. Push this button. That’s it. You have just exercised your power over the entire entertainment industry. I do it all the time.

So join me, brothers and sisters! Turn off the pernicious, babbling non-entities that reduce everything to the lowest common denominator. There’s a huge universe out there, waiting to be discovered. All you have to do is take off your blinders and see it.

And, having seen what the universe is like, ask questions about it. The essence of wisdom lies in understanding how little you really know.

Current status: Irked

Music: Skellig, by Loreena McKennitt



2 responses

21 11 2006
Layman Pong

“Force fed”?
Off switch.

Off switch this TV you must, hmmmmmmmm?

22 11 2006

Pick up your remote. There’s a button on it that says, “Off”. Push this button. That’s it. You have just exercised your power over the entire entertainment industry. I do it all the time.

“Force fed” in the sense that there is no escaping the babble. Because of the non-stop media coverage, it is nearly impossible to avoid hearing or reading something aboout it unless you become a hermit.

Of course, I have done my oen little bit for spreading the word by ranting about it.

Mea maxima culpa.

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